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The Bible Passage That Homophobes Think Exists

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Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

And Before Jesus could continue preaching he did see among the crowd two men who were holding hands and he could not continue.

“Aw sick” Jesus did say unto the crowd. “Don’t do that here. Kids could see.”

Jesus stuck out his tongue and shivered to show unto the crowd that he was creeped out.

“Blech,” said the son of God.

“But lord,” said one of the men, “Didst thou not say ‘Judge not lest ye be judged'”

And Jesus said unto the men, “I’m not judging you. I just don’t want you shoving your lifestyle in my face like this.”

“What thou doest in your own bedroom is your business, just keep it away from me.” With that, the lord did shiver again to show the crowd that this was not his bag. Jesus didst love the ladies.

“But lord,” said one of the men. “If indeed we are sinners how do we differ from the adulterous woman you have just spared.”

“At least she hath done it with someone of the opposite gender,” said Jesus. “How doth two dudes even work, do you just…” Then the lord did repeatedly poke the two tips of his pointer fingers together in an attempt to demonstrate how he thought it might work.

Jesus, now imagining the actual act did shudder again. “Sick” he said.

“Ya know what,” said Jesus. “I don’t want to see this stuff anymore. From here on out, I will consider this a sin. Keep hanging out with the prostitutes and poor people and all, but if you see two dude kiss, thou must tell them it is a sin.”

“But lord,” said one of the men. “What reason dost thou have for condemning us?”

“What reason do I have?” asked Jesus. “I’m fucking God. I need not a reason to declare it a sin.”

And Jesus did proclaim unto his followers “Let it be known from here on out that gay shit will not be tolerated in the eyes of the Lord. Thou shalt not accept the lifestyle, or interact with those who practice it. Most importantly, if any of them ever ask you to bake them a wedding cake, thou must refuse. If you show them any sort tolerance, you will burn in hell alongside these sinners. I cannot be any clearer about this.”   

The two men did begin to protest, but Jesus did say unto them, “Seriously? You are going to try and argue with me? I’m literally God.”

With that, the Lord did turn to his disciples and say “Come on, guys. Let’s go hit up Galilee and check out the local talent.” With that, the lord and his followers did depart.

 

 

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  1. Derma Veil ® 被喻為新世代逆齡完美輪廓塑造,最新一代的PLLA膠原。 2003年獲得Mexican Ministry of Health (SSA)認證及美國FDA出口認證,並於2006年在拉丁美洲及遠東至東南亞地區廣泛使用,多個臨床實例見證能改善老化、遺傳、疾病(如脂肪萎縮)等引起的凹陷問題,其效果備受認同。蘊含兩大活性成分均具有生物兼容性及分解性,可逐步被人體自然分解吸收,有效塑造童顏肌 : 1. 聚左乳酸 (Poly-L-lactic acid / PLLA) : 促進骨膠原生長 2. 甘醇酸(Glycolic Acid ) 使皮膚表皮層黏膠性脂質鬆軟,改善皮膚厚度,加速細胞再生,減少皺紋及疤痕,加強保濕功能,增加光澤,美白效果。 由於甘醇酸分子較小,容易滲透皮膚 治療前: 皮膚的凹陷/皺紋 治療後: 成分被人體吸收、並刺激膠原增生,撫平皺紋及凹陷部位。 注入BOTOX(保妥適)會抑制突觸前膜釋放神經遞質,阻斷乙酰膽鹼(Acetylcholine)的釋放,從而使肌肉張力下降或癱瘓麻痺,皺紋也隨之而逐漸消失。

  2. 防曬粉 BB粉底霜 亮麗柔滑打底乳液 亮麗柔滑控油打底乳液 有機幹細胞修護CC霜 潤澤防曬底霜 礦物質潤澤慕斯 礦物質奇幻粉餅 礦物質蜜粉 完美礦物粉底 控油定妝蜜粉 高清控油粉餅 控油蜜 保濕滋潤噴霧 有機抗氧爽膚噴霧 有機抗敏保濕

  3. TULIP HIFU療程屬非侵入性及非手術的緊膚修身治療,獲歐盟CE、韓國KFDA、GMP、ISO9001、ISO13485等認證,安全可靠。 Tulip的DUAL HIFU精細技術,對面部和眼部治療特別有效;另外,TULIP FB有的13mm及7mm STAMP蓋印式治HIFU治療頭設計,眼、面以外部位,同時具「造身」效果。TULIP【DUAL HIFU高能量聚焦超聲波平台】【特點】- 非手術、非侵入性緊膚治療- 適用於任何膚色肌膚- 治療更精確、更安全- 備有7mm及13mm治療頭,可收緊腹部、臀部、手臂等鬆弛肌膚 【治療目的】- 緊緻肌膚- 提升輪廓- 減淡皺紋- 重塑輪廓線條- 嫩膚亮肌- 提升下垂眼部- 重塑身體線條 (用於7mm/13mm修身治療頭)- 重點減少脂肪細胞 (用於7mm/13mm修身治療頭)

  4. Dysport是A型肉毒桿菌素,為英國一所受嚴格監管的藥廠內透過高科技純化程序提煉的蛋白質。 Dysport更獲美國食品及藥物管理局FDA核准用於美容用途,肯定其效果及安全性。其能有效阻隔神經訊息傳達,令肌肉不受神經控制,減退因肌肉而過度收縮引致的面部動態性皺紋及放鬆過度活躍的肌肉,以達到瘦面、瘦小腿效果;亦能抑制汗腺掛汗的神經系統,有效減少汗水分泌,達到止汗​​及減少異味。Dysport 瘦面 溶脂 Dysport注射到咬肌內,抑制神經肌接頭處乙酰膽鹼遞質的傳遞,使咬肌張力變小而達到瘦臉效果。

  5. ~100 預防高危致癌的 HPV 16、18 型號 (可減低 70 患子宮頸癌的風險) ~100 減低引致生殖器官濕疣 (俗稱「椰菜花」) 的 HPV 6、11 型的感染 (可減低超過 90 患生殖器官濕疣的風險) HPV4合1子宮頸癌疫苗 Gardasil HPV病毒會感染人類的皮膚及黏膜,一般會透過性接觸及親密的皮膚接觸而受到感染,是一種男性與女性都可能感染的常見病毒。可感染身體各個部位的HPV超過100種,當中有部份的HPV類型可影響生殖器部位,導致生殖器疣(genital warts) 、子宮頸細胞異常(abnormal cervical cells) ,甚至子宮頸癌 (cervical cancer)。 4合1 HPV 子宮頸癌疫苗,覆蓋4種高危HPV病毒:6、 11、16及18型(約70的子宮頸癌由HPV16和HPV18病毒引致),有助預防子宮頸癌、外陰癌、陰道癌及生殖器官濕疣

  6. 通過水光療程抑制黑色素細胞生長的成分注射到真皮層,減少黑色素形成,淡化黑斑色素沉澱,從而達到美白祛斑的效果 療程特色 :可配搭多元化產品來量身訂做不同療​​程計算機化規格,操作方便,容易控制可調節進針深度,精準注射於目標的肌膚層 每針的注射劑量相等,達到均勻注射 一次平均5點注射,可縮短療程時間 採用31號細針頭,幾乎看不到入針點 降低疼痛、瘀血、腫脹及不適感 使用靈活度高,可複合式搭配針劑,量身訂製療程

  7. 激光無創熱作用模式精準作用於陰道粘膜層、肌層,使陰道組織發生新生改變,修復由於順產而引起的損傷,解決一系列產後女性生殖系統常見問題。私密緊緻作用原理:刺激陰道粘膜固有層、粘膜肌層,使其膠原纖維、彈性纖維大量增生重塑;彈性纖維網修復,陰道收緊 SUI作用原理:恢復盆底正常解剖位置 陰道彈性纖維網得以修復,恢復到正常解剖位置避免了擠壓,牽拉尿道,使尿道角度恢復正常 盆底血供豐富,間接的使尿道括約肌得以修復進而停止漏尿或症狀減輕 私密敏感、潤滑作用原理:CO2微脈管作用,使血管重建、促進血液循環 血管活性腸肽(VIP)和神經肽Y(NPY) 表達增加,敏感度增加 血流量增加,陰道上皮細胞功能增加、陰道粘膜自分泌功能增強,潤滑度增加

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