Katie Marovitch has been a writer/performer for CollegeHumor since 2015 – you probably know her best from sketches like I Don’t See Race, Your Healthy Friend Who Still Does Drugs, and Why The Hell Is He Her Boyfriend?. And NO, she doesn’t have a drug problem in real life (at least, as far as I know. Drug addiction is still sadly stigmatized heavily in our society, and many hide their struggles from others to avoid being thought less of instead of searching for support or help. But yeah pretty sure Katie’s clean). But for anyone who wanted to know MORE about what makes the mind of Katie Marovitch tick, we asked her 10 incredibly important and revealing questions. Enjoy!
1. What’s your favorite sketch idea that you weren’t allowed to make?
I wrote a Thanksgiving sketch called “That turkey is a total TILF.” It was about a MILF but with a turkey instead, and we all wanted to fuck it. It was super dirty and there was no way any of us would have agreed to do it. I’m glad we didn’t shoot it, but it still makes me laugh.
2. What celebrity would play you in a movie?
Someone weird, like Michael Cera or Macaulay Culkin or Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter)
3. One celebrity who you are not currently friends with will be soulbound to for the rest of your life. There’s no obligation that you have a romantic entanglement, although you’re allowed to, and you guys will never be able to be more than 20 feet away from each other. Who do you pick?
Rachel Brosnahan from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I genuinely think we’d be best friends if we ever met.
4. What would be the shittiest superpower?
You urinate acid. It would hurt you too and in order to use your power to stop bad guys, you would have to expose yourself and overcome bladder shyness.
5. Do snakes have tails?
No. I would argue that snakes are 100% torso (I actually tweeted this on March 15th)
Snakes are all torso. Even their dumb heads.
— Katie Marovitch (@KatieMarovitch) March 16, 2018
6. Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?
Vampire! Vampires can acquire major wealth over their lifetime, which I would enjoy. Werewolves always have messy hair and ripped clothing.
7. Which Hogwarts house would you have been sorted into?
I wish it were Ravenclaw but I’m evil so Slytherin.
8. What’s the best appetizer?
HONESTLY?! Just really good bread and butter. Can’t stop/won’t stop eating it.
9. Extra soft toilet paper or extra strong toilet paper?
A weird thing about me is that I have a hard time touching cotton. It makes me anxious for some reason. So, I’d go extra strong because I assume extra soft means it is just made with super soft cotton.
10. Is cereal with milk technically soup?
No. That’s a crazy question to ask.